if I'm gone

This will be my 334 post since last year , one word Wow thats a lot :O haha anyway I'm gonna say this someday If I'm gone I should probably say sorry deeply and throughly for all my stupid actions and behaviour I really am no doubt . Sometimes I do things without even thinking about the outmost possible outcome and consequences , I care for people a lot than they imagined I truly do but I hurt them too with words mostly and actions specially . My apologies so if the next day I'm gone do pray for me and forgive me for what I've done doesnt matter if its the smallest or simplest thing I ever did to you . What I did wasnt really my heart desired I just did you know cause I'm a human being too I make mistakes and I messed up . So I just wanna say this again I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart , remember me and be happy . You only live once :") Oh and one more thing to my mom and dad I seriously absolutely totally love you guys like forever I wouldnt be here writing all these things , who am I without you both so I am truly grateful to have such freaking cool parents *no lies* who supports me through good and especially bad times . I cried a lot didnt I haha sorry for being such a little annoying girl I cant help it though I tried . Haa I didnt forget to my effing awsome amazingly funny and smookingly hot super supportive siblings I love you guys sibs-hugggggg forever and eternity . For my superduperlyeffinggorgeousandlovely best friends forever Iloveyougirls to infinity and beyond :') So till then , pray for me a lot .

 Al-Fatihah 

My fav song off all times :") Maroon5 - She will be loved . 

And by the way Adam Levine you're hot Kbye . I'm watching the MAMA Awards #phewww . SNSD looked extremely superhot , MissA was owneddd BIG TIME bro haha but yeah Goodbye Baby was freaking awsome . Not to forget i love Suzy and Fei right atennn high 10 babe hihi :) Superjunior can you all be mine especially Leeteuk and Kyuhyun :') Heavennnnn I tell you . BEAST looked awsomely amazing Fiction it was all fiction sadly and HyunA I'm warning you enough with Hyunseung already dont take anyone else Take note I'll fight for them real hard I tell you *jealous*. 2NE1 was cool I like Dara's hair do though and congratulationss for winning the MTV Asian Music Awards or MAMA for short . You deserved that -----> nega che chalaga wohoo thumbs up but the music video was scary though just saying :P All out Korean wave is absolutely pretty hot like hotpancakes and lemonade I tell you . Maybe some would not agree with them like the anti-fans or something , just so you know everyone has their own rights and interests so FTW grow up and accept others its not like we're doing some major mafia business by liking them , WE HAVE RIGHTS some may like other english bands and no one is stopping you so stop making fun of the korean fans . We have feelings too ya know #Peaceout . Its time for everybody to take care of their own stuff , face the differences the world is not yours only *nooffenseplease* I love both Asian and Hollywood :]

xoxo ,

M awards

So now me aten esah and pah are skype-ing :") I missed old times real hard though . but then seriously bedekak gila nak mati sampai terguling2 atas katil because of our own actions . We're planning to do a day watching movies together from horror to funny to action and lastly romance , lols . I got the funny one so yeahh me got to buy cd anything that's funny I'm planning to buy happy Feet Two but maybe Puss In Boots would make it just right . Esah got the action which is In Time heck yeahh Justin Timberlake in the house yo haha cool muchhhh . Aten got horror so she picked KumKum haha funny gilaaa sbb when we googled it klua KumKum versi Hindustan lol muchhh . To be exact KumKum Malaysia maybe keluar next year so yeahh tukar to Paranormal Activity 3 or 1 for more scarier impact . And lastly for pahpooh she got romance so all in one memang we picked twilight : Breaking Dawn . OMJ stands for Oh My Jacob isnt it lovely hihi <3 kdemhottt i tell you . Cant wait for the Part 2 next year absolutely perfect which is my SPM exam what a great timing isnt it . By the way someone is mad at me at Skype so yeah I know you'll read this . Forgive me for my imperfections I mean it I'm sorry :/ Buzz me when you're okay .

Bytheway this is gonna be a short post from me since yeahh I dont have a facebook anymore kannn so I'm telling everything every short detail of me in my blog lolssss . Chill lah at least at my blog it seems normal to talk alone rather in facebook nampak macam a lunatic pun ade . Daddy's not at home so we decide to have dinner outside me abang and mama :) Awhhh later i'll post what I'm gonna eat peace yo . Toodles 

HAHAHA --' anyway this post has nothing got to do with the above picture , but it has something got to do with my life . Practically I did say to mama that I wanna go visit haja a.k.a pinces next year anddd I did mention I dont wanna take my SPM which is a total absurd and extreme foolishness waterparkkk of course without no second thoughts my mom said NO . K im kidding K i know i'm just bluffing anyway I'm not gonna be the one that ruin my future . Hmm after all those tiring conversations and maybe just maybe mama finally said yes of letting me go alone to visit pinces in Hamburg Germany . InshAllah I really hope so :") I'm such a mess here in Johor Bahru everything seems dull sorry my bad but partly it is so true except my effing awsome friends which is a total fun to be with .

Cant believe that next year I actually am gonna take my SPM and there goes my school uniform pufff gone . No more teachers no more food to buy at sch canteen no more seniors to inspire you to go to school yaa know to tengoktengok and jadikan sumber inspirasi ke kan :P Just so you know nothing to look punnn they're all just a bunch of form 5 students being human except one year older tu jelah special nothing else and maybeee some of them are cool to look at . SOME k SOME . What the F am I talking about ? To be precise I hate getting older I hate form 5 life next year which everyone knows " The Dooms Year to Study Real Hard and Get Out of the Sch " me hate that fact . Kdone have a nice day andddd awsomely I'm chatting with atontenten a.k.a one of my BestFriendForever jgn ahhh merajuk my pweety nnt tk dpt my free hug you know you want it :P cant wait to see ya this 2nd Dec lots of kissesss . Takecare peeps 

xoxo , 

the Great M

That picture above is so true . The fact that I didnt go to sleep yet would probably because of this -----> I'm just gonna say this one more time , I dont like the feeling of knowing that people gave up on me and to know that the reason is not concrete enough just adds in more pain . Fight for happiness dont just dream of it grab and hold onto it . It is not that hard if you just try but sadly some people just dont want to . Goodnight earthlings , Stay strong .

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA -,- couldnt stop laughing when I read this . What is wrong with her girlfriend ? LOL muchhhhh like seriously . Be honest babe you're madly jealous with that girl who liked your boyfriend's status on facebook and Come on man as a boyfriend could you not notice that ? pfffttttt -..- heartless guy . Anyways I'm bored and I couldnt shut my eyes off or tuck myself into bed so yeah I'm busy pretending to keep myself busy wth keep moving forward :] So hey buddy heard that someone is in Desaru right now spending their holiday I'm happy for ya best lahhhh dapat cuti cuti Malaysia #youknowwhoyouare . Well me I'm just being the ordinary one with remote control in my hands watching all lame tv shows :') Pathetic much . Neberminddd I'm gonna save my money and spend it all off after SPM ho-yeah . Italy is a must wait no matter what . Speaking of which my parents are busy handling my so-called schedule for next year , all the tuitions and camps and extra study hours and no more tv times and no more fun and yeah did I mention no more outdoor activities pffftttt . Keep calm and start to freak out . Counting the days and somehow I'm not thrilled at all pardon me for my lack of excitement but yeah who's the freak that loves that freaking exam SPM geeshh if I could just run away I would no doubt man -..- I want my childhood life back pretty pretty please with cherries and sprinkles on top :'[

xoxo ,

 M missing I

I miss you though . Real hard but yeah never gonna admit that :'] Skype-ing with esah well known as Aneesa Nasir with her pretty-heart melting-sugar smile Awhhh I know I'm sweet puiiii what the tuttt is wrong with me hihi not a lesbo though #peace . It doesnt matter what matters the most right now she said she loves me forever to infinity and beyond aint thatttt sweet you tell me now . I'm like asdfghjkl yeahhhman at least I have someone who would be there for me *tearsofjoy* well mayyybe you find me stupid cause for that 3 or 8 words anybody could have said that but you know what I dont care cause maybe I wont get anymore of these words in the future . I'm cheerishing it for good and I mean it . 

For you , I was a chapter but For me , you were the book - TomMcNeal .

Somedays are hard me if it wasnt for my bestfriends I wouldnt think I could make it through these painful-heartbreaking-torturing-devastating-painstaking days K is it too much sorry :P They're my strongest back bone , powerful words , the reason I smile it was ALL because of them . If I could list any one them it would take me a thousand endful years there's too many thats why they're called the best . Wishing everyday I could be there for them laughing for stupid jokes that nobody could understand . All those joyful laughter makes me wanna push that pause and replay button *as if* no more moving forward . Maybe we're drifting apart lately I'm sorry for being afraid for being so stupid to think that I'm not one of you girls . Insecurities just kills me slowly . The fact that I miss you girls so much just hurts me , nobody nor no one could never ever replace you girls existence in my life . I love the way our different personalities mixed up and how we shared our moments together through anything . That memory I wouldnt change it for any price say it name it I'll keep on saying no because you girls are the best even words cant describe what I'm feeling . I should start calling them just to say hello and how much I missed the old us . Soon inshAllah :")

Arent they cute or what :") Anyway here I am wishing all the muslims throughout the world "Salam Maaf Hijrah 1433" may the new year come with happiness and outmost devotion also may Allah grant the world with peace within this year . Indeed when Allah takes something from your grasp , He's not punishing you but merely opening your hands to receive something better . The will of Allah will never take you where the grace of Allah will not protect you . May the new year come with so much joy and being stronger each day to be a better muslim till the day Allah calls my name .  I am pleased with Allah as my Lord , Islam as my religion and Muhammad S.A.W as my Prophet :') may Allah bless us all muslims Ameen InshAllah 

Hearts are often broken by words left unspoken . You have no idea how long something you said can stay in someone's mind . So cheerish what you've got while it still last . Soon everything will be back to normal inshAllah and I just wish I can get a way to some place new . A place that makes me realize how tiny little minnie I am and my problems are I would love that , for now I just have to find myself and make it through . 

" You learn to trust people when you learn to trust Allah , because if you trust Him you will be sure that he brings to you the right people " Somebody somewhere someday :'( Salam Maal Hijrah .

Everything changed so quick :" One second it was like this and next it was like that and it goes on and on . I'm tired and i need some rest . I dont care anymore and please just leave me alone fr the time being I'm sickkk faham tak ? Come on fight for it why is everyone making it harder each time . Aliah i'm so glad you're there I can count on you and truely Iloveyoufromthebottomofmyheart :" 

Ya Allah guide me through all of these through sickness and through health help me to face everything be with me every second I'm begging you Ameen . 

Conversations between eka and me :

E : Hi Adik , how are you ?

M : Oh hi Pincess , never been better .

E : Tapayah nak tipu , mama cakap baby P asyik sakit nak mkn ubat cakap dadah pastu lari apelah .

M : HA-HA tu agenda lebih , mcm tak kenal mama dia kan syg aku lebih 

E : elehhh gedik so buat ape ni ?

M : tgk tv , bosan gilaaaaa bila nak balik ?

E : dh lama tgk cite ape ? mana boleh balik skrg kan aku busy with last semester

M : tah cite ape kt tv3 terowong tajuk dia , balik jelah ckp kt prof adik sakit -.- mwehehe

E : oh so klu adik sakit semua boleh balik rumah lah ? banyak cantik ckp je ah rinduuuu kt pincess

M : euwww please ade ah sikit , wey along dh balik 

E : from NewZie ? beli ape untuk aku kambing ada tak ? ckp along imissher

M : kambing pun tk larat nak angkt kaykay -,-

E : elehhh imissyoutoobabyprincesssss jgn lupa makan ubat nnt sape nak jaga aku masa tua kauuuu jugak 

I really miss her though so much until i look through old photos of us , dari kecik rapat dgn dia . Dulu i love chicken wings so much *undescribable* sampai mama terpaksa asingkan for me tapi because of her I fell in love with peha which is my fav part of ayam sampai sekaranggg . I look up to her like a little baby sister , everything she did I'll follow her footsteps . Even we used to fight sbb aku asyik tiru dia buat segala benda sampai dia fed up sorry kakak Iloveyou thats why I'm following you sampai nak ke tandas :P Setiap kali dia keluar aku mesti nk ikut macam lintah wa cakap lu . Tak boleh pisah HAHA i remember masa tuh nak raya and mama buat kan our baju kurung sama corak sama colour sama sebijikkk troLOLOL i love it tapi eka muncung gila sampai dia merajuk punyalahhh tak suka aku sama dgn dia . So the conclusion is susah senang dgn kau princess , masuk tidur bangun tidur dgn kau , makan pakai sama dengan kau , demam sakit dgn kau sampai sekarang i cant forget . Remember dlu masa kecik aku selalu sakit kaki every night menangis and you're the one nyanyi kan lullaby and picit kan sampai i fell asleep bila fikir balik all those sweetbitter times with you I felt lucky to have such a good strong outrageous sister like you and I couldnt replace any of us siblings with anyone else in the whole wide world . I just want you to know you're the best and beautiful so you deserve much better . IloveyouisthethreewordsIalwayssaytoyou :') satu hari nanti if I'm gone and who knows jangan lupa baca all these things I wrote and keep that pretty smile my princess <3  Be happy 

when you said to your parents ------->  Dad i need money .  I wanna go out chilling with my babes and boom all of a sudden there's the money :) LOL AS IF 

Its 4.00 am in the morning and I cant sleep I dont know why pfftttt -..- See that status I was about to write that and yes I'm afraid so I deactivated my facebook account already and I'm glad I did that cause everytime I log in the first thing came right thru my mind was to go to your profile and scroll down if anything happens , did I miss anything ? I dont wanna be the last one to know about what's going on in your life . I hate it when I'm the one who did all these over-reacting thinking . What matters the most to me now is my relationship with Allah , family , friends and to think about next year I'm gonna face SPM seriously I'm getting coldfeet :\ There is so many things to think about rather than worrying about somebody who is a complete stranger to me now . I switch my phone off fr the time being keep on reading old text messages that sickens me everytime I read it . So anything buzz me at Skype dont know if I'll be there who cares so toodles social life you gave me lessons I could never learn anywhere else <3 Merci pour tout  I miss France so much :' better go and start praying that everything will come back normal again insyaAllah God wills . 

B : Are you okay , you're hiding something kan ?

M : No no nothing , I'm fine never been better . See that smiley face :)

S : You're acting like we're enemies 

M : Am I ? Cause I did the same thing you did to me . 

B is one of my buddy might as well be my bestest budyy but it used to be , not that I'm saying he's not my buddy anymore he is. Things happened we changed it gets busier and he's closed to S . He's the one supporting me through my darkest secret few months ago so I owe him a lot and he's my TTKA .

 S is a stranger to me now I erased him from my brain . My brain capacity is too small for you to fit in and yes we can be friends but not that close . Might as well do me a favor , dont appear in front of me for the time being God knows how my dirty minds work , you know maybe a little bit of help from imaginary friend of killing you :P you dont like the :P smiley do you ? Well who cares its my territory you're under my rules So get the Heeeeeell away from me :) TOLD CHA you're not messing with the weak M anymore , say hello to a brand new M . She made a total recovery and yes she likes to be alone from people who made her sick thankyou . She's stronger than ever cause someone she loves treat her like a plastic bag . Easy come easy go second chances doesnt mean a thing . fyi to S i used to love you remember the heart shape i showed you its broken </3 

Just saying if you ever read this which I know you will not , read it loud and clear k : You may find me too mean with all the harsh words but babe look in the mirror please for 2 minutes think of all the things you did to me , replay back all those bullsheez you gave me , you're the one who turned me into this make me play this game and yes you someday God will repay :) Remember this ? " I always knew every hello ends with a goodbye " you know who you are , you used to be the one i wait patiently at nights things do change arent they . Well done for making me actually believed all those things you said to me it was all a lie . The fact you choose your friend over me that feeling it was awful and I'm offended and no one knows how much time it takes for me to heal , Be happy ? well you tell me how to be happy teach me how to smile again .  From the beginning of the chapter till the end I never regret knowing you I just regret the time I've wasted on somebody that doesnt even care . I proudly am now drawing the lines which you cant cross so I guess its over this is Goodbye dear Stranger . 

It is hard trust me . For now I'm not giving up in life but I gave up on you long time ago , if you see me act like you dont know me . I'll be there standing , looking stronger with the happiest smile on my face . Someday you'll know how it feels like . Stop making excuses I've had enough , you can go and tell everyone about me brag whatever you like but one thing I beg you please dont forget to tell them what you have done to me . People judge easily but please make it fair and square . I still remember the day never thought it would turned out to be this bad , we were smiling to each other but somewhere we went wrong . Memories are made to keep but pardon me for my rudeness you're not worth to be in brain all you're gonna do is ruin everything in there like a virus so quickly better go now before there's no turning point and no way out to escape . End of story no more tears , suck it all in and put it in my pocket :) Wipe it all away at once .

# I'm sinking like a big stone in the sea . You wont get it if I told you cause we were never in the same boat . You and me we got two different lives to be fighting for . You can never compare or even imagine yourself  being me . How to be brave when all the people you trust keep fading away like bubbles in the ocean . Standing alone fighting , be me against the world . No more fairytales story to be told cause in life there is only reality and I just have to face the real music no matter how hard it is .

Spending 30 minutes and above just to wait for the right person to online doesnt make sense because I really hate waiting for any person but then for you I'll make an exception . People always said that there will always be that someone that no matter how much they hurt you and make you down , you still cant let they go then I guess its true . Skype-ing with you does make me feel better guess you have the magic in me . Take note when I fell I fell too hard . #Stay the same 

Its 20.11.2011 already , time flies too fast isnt it . One minute I was the happiest child on earth then things happened and somehow someway it changes . All my dreams turned out to be my biggest nightmare . Everybody at least have that special someone to talk to wether its their best friends parents teachers siblings cousins even your partners someone that you trust and you're not hesitated to share your problems with , the one who understand you more than yourself , the one that knows you the best by just seeing you right thru your eyes at least someone you're comfortable with to share and its not just by listening to your problem its the one you knew that they would back you up no matter how hard it is and there's nothing such as sympathy nor empathy feeling but because they truly care for you and you meant the world to them :' I dont even know how to describe my situation right now to anybody even if I called and cried so hard just listen . As a matter of fact dont even ask what's wrong cause I found that stupid question hurts the most even if I want to tell them badly I just couldnt . My mouth did not speak what my heart wants to tell the most guess there's something wrong with my brain huh . Sleep well my dusty brain and may the future brings out the best in me #hoping that next year would be good to me :'

Guess what people are saying is true that there is actually someone out there that feels exactly the same as I do :'| Please I just need a break . Is it that hard to understand . I'll work even harder if I have to so just please leave me alone :'

#the moment when you can actually feel the pain in your chest from seeing or hearing something that breaks your heart . I'm done trying hard , I'm sick , I'm tired and most of all , the hardwork and no play pays nothing at all as if I'm still stupid no matter what how much effort I put in . Cant you see I'll never be good in anything guess I tried and nobody sees that :'( I'm having a hard time

If you care for something , you fight for it - Captain Haddock :') 

Well to be exact for awhile I thought this movie wasnt going to be fun or funny because of somebody #onlymygirlsknowwhy :P But thennnn I saw the director of this movie was Steven Spielberg so it was a phewww tak rugi rm8 aku HA-HA well money doesnt grow on tress my dear , cherish it while you're not broke *trustme* yaa know Mr.Spielberg always make a good movie so I wasnt surprised that this would be exciting . So I arrived at cs or some of us may call it seemyass :P LOL k pysho much sorrayyy . Up to see my girls and met kak azimah for awhile , she went to dcm with her lovely friends :) nice to meet them . Anyway went to the movie around 12 finish it off around 2 something and wallaaaaaaa mu bien it was good (Y) thumbs up , we girls laughed like a lot in there lg lg part Opera sampai kaca pecah . daebakkk wa cakap lu :) Tadaaaaaa hereby I , Siti Mariam Ibrahim announce the bestest movie for this week is The Adventures of Tintin <3 You should spend sometime this holiday with your loved ones watch this movieeeeeee recommended by a diehardfanoftintin #ifellinlovewithrambutkunyitberjambul :P LOL

ratings : 8/10 see see toldddd chaaaaa it was awsome :D

the next bestest movie wannabe issssssss -------> Breaking Dawn thats why takde Awsomest Movie of the month sbb ade dua cerita best this November . peaceyo Goodnight Earthlings . and and I forgot I love Wednesday cause its Popcorn Day and A day to spend with your Girlfriendsss watching Dont be afraid of the Dark at my house at night and balik lambat and eat Jco and and Auntie Anne's my fav part of the day and and ehhh lupa Secret Recipe , Spagetthi Cheese with meatballs . Isnt life great just knowing that your loved ones is there <3 Loveyougirlstillnothingbreakusapart 

xoxo , 

The Greatest M day .

oh well Assalamualaikum :) guess I'm gonna have fun this holiday . Oh well we watched movies yesterday *Wednesday . I met kak azimah at city square and hang out with my buddies :') long time no see and I miss them , sch holiday should be awsome but still it is gonna be boring if your friends is not around to cheer you up when you're down . 10 years of schooling and still counting till next year #SPM :( gonna miss school not that I love school I just love my buddies bestfriends teachers and all the hardwork of doomsday . It is fun rather than staying at home watching some tv programme that sucks a lot but you just watch it cause you dont have anything else to do so yeah i choose school #weird isnt it (Y) peaceyo . Over all I just miss my girlfriends a lot like seriously A LOT . no kidding bro's I should really call them and hang out sometimes yupp I should do that , well till the next post I guess . Goodnight peeps <3 

Do you know the feeling when the people around you make you feel like you're not worth it and feeling like a piece of shit crap . You did everything but nobody NO BO DY realized it and they start accusing you not doing any work #lazypants while you're doing the best you can putting up with all those bullsheez and keep it all up to yourself eventhough you're tired . Nobody knows the thoughts that is running through my mind and what goes on in my mind whenever I'm sad , how horrible and terrible for me to bottle it all up . Nobody knows how many times I've had to hold back my tears from running down on my cheek , how many times I've lose control and about to snap but I didnt do it for the sake of others . Nobody knows how many times I've sat down in my room crying at nights trying to survive . There will always be this one person that hurts me the most and I'm trying my best not to keep it in my heart guess I tried my best and it wasnt enough . 

Ya Allah make me strong even when the rest of the world is fighting against me :'/ Show me your mercy and guide me with your wisdom . I just cant stop crying 

hey Assalamualaikum and hi so today is the 12th of November 2011 where my sister Along is having a luxurious and glory moment of hers . Wish you all the best for your marriage sistah :') Okay well here it goes I am happy for her well the most happiest I think but then I know there's always a karma whenever I'm happy its like I can smile laugh and stuff but then there will be something bad happening trust me been there a lot and done it . Please stop talking about me I know what I did my actions for you may be unappropriate but dont judge I know what I'm doing so just let me be even my parents didnt say a word . Mind your own bussiness please Its just saddening to know that people talk like sheezzz behind your back it stabs you right through your heart and now mine is bleeding , Just stop interfering and messing my life with your cruel words cause it hurts a lot and now it just affect everything i repeat EVERYTHING . I cant even smile properly cause I kept thinking about your negative piece of sheez and judgemental side without even asking me the truth . Im depressed thinking about what you think so please dont make me even more fragile , I always knew words can bring me down but I didnt knew being down was to fall from such a high place and watch your heart bleed :'/

           Assalamualaikum jawab sayang tak jawab dosa :* hee so today is my Along or well known as Siti Aishah Ibrahim greatest day of her life :') 11.11.11 nikah and tomorrow is the wedding . enjoy the pictures cause im too lazy too tired to type sorry peeps . Along i wish you the best and may Allah bless you a happy , barakah and sakinah family with your loved ones . We still love you as a family though hihi and to Abang Sukri welcome to the family brothaa :) dont worry you are safe with us as long as you follow my lead muahaha xP peaceyo \m/ keep rocking on .

#HappyNewlyWeed

#aishah&sukri

#thenewbighappyfamily :')

#welcometothefamilybrahhhh <3

#farouq.mariam.aishah.hajar

#makzizah&me

#maknoi.mariam.makzizah.eka.farouq

#adik-haja-eka

#sitimariam.sitiaishah.sitihajar 

#adik&pengantinbaru-along hihi 

#iloveyou : farouq.along.haja.eka.and sikecik aishah :)

#more pictures will be downloaded to my facebook account insyaAllah but sorry not now , this is currently a short post of me ni pun wa curikcurik online babe . al maklum busy kemas rumah :P for those yg kenal me especially my dear buddies sorrayyyy much sbb tak jemput please dont be mad at me :'( not that i dont want to invite you guys i'm a human too i forgot easily then i got final exam thats why tak sempat nak hntr card to you and stuff . sorryyyy eh eh dengan ini saya Siti Mariam Ibrahim dengan penuh rasa rendah diri menjemput anda ke majlis perkahwinan kakanda saya yang tercinta pada hari esok . nak alamat inbox facebook wa :P haha have a nice day ladies and gentlemen . 

you laid in your bed and end up crying . you keep telling your friends when they asked you are you okay but you told them lies by saying that i'm great and never been better . you cried at nights just thinking how much more you have to sacrifice , how many lies are you going to tell , how many pain you have to endure , how many fake smiles you have to show , how life is being so unfair . you cried because you cant find someone who will understand you even if they do they wont feel the same cause they're not walking in the same shoe . you counted all your flaws from head to toe just to see how much more tears you have to cry and eventually make you feel even worse . the girl who everyone thought is strong and full of happiness fail to calm herself . have you ever felt that way cause I do .
#FAILED