I was never normal . I am always the weirdest one . Yet I accept the fact that I too have flaws . So now what I'm gonna do is sit there and think . Who am I to judge you and the way you act . The time begins now and whatever happens next I have my own reason . I'm not blaming anyone I'm just being me and I mean it this time there's no turning back , I'm sorry thats all .

xoxo ,

M

Assalamualaikum . Its me writing again . Just got back from Kualalala Lumpur . Bored . Nothing much happened. I ate a lot sumpah hari hari chicken HAHA imagine mcm mana tak gemuk right haihhh . Anyway we send Eka to her practical place in Klang - checked . Hantar farouq - checked . Jumpa Mak Noi - checked . Hang around with my parents - double checked . See how I much I missed my besties :'( I'm stuck in the car for 5 hours with cramped legs and pain in the ass haha I mean I got headache as always . Nevermind its temporary inshaAllah Allah will be there always. I signed in to facebook just now and I saw this , it touched my heart . Wanna see how much it impact me ------> read this . To my beloved best friends , classmates , girlfriends and schoolmates .

Dengan nama Allah Yg Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang

Ya Allah , Panjangkanlah umur sahabatku. Kurniakanlah kesihatan yang baik padanya , terangi hatinya dengan nur pancaran iman. Tetapkanlah hatinya , perluaskanlah rezekinya , dekatkanlah hatinya kepada kebaikan , jauhkanlah hatinya pada kejahatan, tunaikanlah hajatnya baik hajat dalam agama , dunia dan akhirat .

Ya Muhaimin , Jika dia jatuh hati izinkanlah dia menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut pada-Mu agar tidak terjatuh dia dalam jurang cinta nafsu  , Jagalah hatinya agar tidak berpaling daripada melabuhkan hatinya pada hati-Mu. Jika dia rindu , rindukanlah dia pada seseorang yang merindui syahid di jalan-Mu.

Ya Allah , Jangan biarkan sahabatku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kejalan-Mu , jika kau halalkan aku merindui sahabatku , janganlah aku melampaui batas sehingga melupakan daku pada cinta hakiki , rindu abadi dan kasih sejati hanya untuk-Mu.

Ya Allah , kurniakanlah sahabatku kesenangan , ketenangan , kecemerlangan dan hidayah dari-Mu dalam menempuh cabaran serta liku-liku hidup di dunia dan di akhirat kelak .  inshaAllah 

I know I didnt wrote this du'a but I pray for them in my own ways for sure . I want the best for you guys as much as I loved them . And ustazah did say something to me , tak kan nak masuk syurga sorang sorang kan bagus kalau ada kawan . Plus a friend du'a is among the best and will be granted inshaAllah God knows . I hope this year 2012 will bring us peace and prosperity . When I said I'll be there I keep my promise so I'll stay beside them whenever they want me to and I'll go if they ask me to . I'm sorry if I ever hurt anyone , any heart feelings , words unspoken , hatred , jealousy , my attitude and my flaws definitely . I'm sorry for being me and I cant blame anyone . Never in my heart to hurt the people around me, I tried my very best till now to please everyone to make them feel comfortable to make sure they're happy and I hope you guys are . So there it goes , please accept my apology if you ever come across reading this by accident . 

Goodnight universe may Allah bless you . Alhamdulillah :')

Much love , M

I miss them so much :/ No words could describe how we loved each other #cehh but its nothing but the truth :') I missed how we used to laugh over something we did accidentally . I missed the way we made bad jokes to each other . I missed the way we gathered all around us , taking care for each other , cooking together in the kitchen , fighting over PS2 game or watching tv , playing badminton and family match , the way we walked to Pasar Malam and it's amazing to know that I have them all this while - La Familia . Even though many things happened these past few years yet we still here standing strong , all for one and one for all inshaAllah even Abang Farhan and Tokmak is not here with us - they will always be remembered in our hearts and prayers . Ya Allah please give us your blessings and keep us all together as a family till Jannah , I would never want to replace any of them with anyone in this world , I love you guyssss  <3

Introducing the Abu Bakar's and Halijah's family - not yet a complete family cause Acu is missing in action :P

xoxo ,

M with family

Alhamdulillah time passed by too quick , yet so far everything is turning out pretty well :') My relationship with Allah family and friends so far still in a good position . I'm not isolating myself from people and definitely it turns out not that bad I think . Among everything 2012 is the best year for now and I hope it stays the same throughout the year so that I'll be able to write about it at the end and a new beginning in 2013 inshaAllah . 

I've accepted my imperfections , reconstructing myself over again , use my weakness against me and now I'm proud to say I'm not the girl who I thought I was years ago . Everytime I fall and things just happened the way it wasnt supposed to be I'll hear my own heartbeat - I have a purpose in life . Eventhough I dont know which road I'm gonna take I'm sure everything will turn out well , things just work out somehow they have to . I'm not gonna run away anymore from any problem , I'll face whatever it is with open arms . 

Thankyou Allah for making me believe in myself once again though I've been lost within myself yet you still there to guide me . Dad and Mom you both were meant to be together and you guys are the best thing ever happen to me despite all my shit-ness you're my backbone through it all :') Bestfriends girlfriends and schoolmates you'll always be remembered , no one can take you guys place each and every one of you . Knowing my annoying-ness gedik-ness and overdose drama Queen above all that thanks for treating me in public like I'm a normal one \m/ Fyi I'm crazy and I know it :P 

This one is specially dedicated to secretcode - Puding , Thankyou to beyond and infinity to stand and not feeling embarass for whatever I'm doing and to accept my flaws for who I am . Whatever will be in the future let Allah decides whats best for us or everyone and in the mean time stay awsome :) I'm proud to say life is starting to get better each day Alhamdulillah , may Allah bless us toodles . 

xoxo , 

M now and forever

Hey Assalamualaikum , a lot of great things happened today justttt before school tomorrow :') me my dad and my mom went out and eat dinner together just the three of us . muahaha HEAVEN lol you dont know what it's like to be the only child at home imagine when you have 4 siblings that's too suitable to compare for . Gee sorry for being born :P I mean I love my parents so much I know they wanted me to be just like them but Oh my , I cant keep up . Sorry but not that I'm giving up its just that uhm I dont know I'll try . Let the time decide whats best for me . Anyway school's gonna start TOMORROW heck yeah 4th Jan :/ sobs but definitely I'm gonna walk within the crowd like the picture up there -------> TOTALLY so watch me :P Got to pack things up tonight , haihhhhh laziness just conquer my whole body toodles . May your tomorrow come with blessings and full of awsomeness , me too I guess Ameen

xoxo ,

Mmemalasssss

road gets tough

I'm not sleeping yet I know . The time seems to freeze somehow and I cant go to bed like asdfghjk how many times I've tried . Its 1.05 am 3rd of January in 2012 #AWSOME . So yeah I'm bored , just imagine me writing all these stuff *lame* LOL cause I'm super bored . Regardless of all I got to say this to myself and to others who might actually read this accidentally or whatever it is you're doing in my page somehow . Since I'm gonna begin my Form 5 life as a Senior #hardcore tomorrow 4th of January somehow I can feel it in my bones that things are not gonna come easy. 

The road I'm pretty sure its gonna be bumpy and full of surprises but there is always something you can hold onto like in a car you can always grab the passenger's handrail , the same thing in life you just have to practic it . Believe in yourself , do not mind what others are negatively thinking about you or judgying you . Keep your hopes up and less worry in expectations . Catch your dream and dream big , Put your all not one hundred percent but two hundred percent . Believe the unbelievable . Possible the impossible and Never ever ever ever take NO for an answer . Risk your life , take chances , love the people who love you . Change yourself before you start changing the world these is what my Dad always told me . Iloveyoualwayspa eventho I didnt say it that much I always have and always will deep down .

Dear Allah the Most Merciful , all I'm hoping for 2012 is for it to just be better not perfect , much nicer and a lot of sweet memories for us 95's . Not much and nothing else . Thats All InshaAllah . Please just please :')

Sometimes what we all need is a Quran in our hand , tears in our eyes and Allah in our heart . One for all and All for one . Throw your heart and the rest of you will fall - Get what I mean ? Have a nice day Assalamualaikum

xoxo ,

Sleepy M 

New Year's Eve

Hey Assalamualaikum , Guess what Its 2012 already #Tearsofjoyandsadness . A year passed by and time flies too quick isnt it , I've been reconstructing myself a lot lately , Checking everything from bottom to top and Now I need to make some changes .

Things I'm Very Good at or Super Good at :

1 . not studying

2 . not replying texts or answering calls

3 . getting my hopes up and down all of a sudden

4 . sleeping and mostly eating food *totallygoodat

5 . pissing people off like eff off *yeahman

6 . pushing people away

7 . being anti social 

And there it goes . Boomed . Now what I wanna do for my New Year Resolution is I'm gonna make it true and keep my word . At least I hope so #believeisntthathard .

2012 New Hope . New Beginning . New Friends . New Personality and Attitude . 
1 . Focus in class even harder
2 . Struggle from beginning not at the last moment
3 . Smile even more and no crying over stupid things definitely . Gotta be strong :')
4 . Less talk more actions and stop eating gotta be thin this year LOL
5 . Less Koreans stuff and not being addictive
6 . Try to fast every Monday and Friday
7 . Work harder No stress and Tawakkal cause Allah knows the best .

Sincerely - me . Wishing you All the best in life and may The New Year brings us happiness , peace , genuinely lots of caring people , lessons , wisdom and health in the future InshaAllah with barakkah :')

xoxo ,

M 2012