all i wanna do is cry until my heart explode and there's nothing left but memories . 

i'm a big big girl in a big big world its not a big big thing if you leave me . 

i guess i'm not that strong enough to hide my feelings . #immafailure

lets hide all these shit and put that smile on your face M . 

be strong , sincerely myself :) 

xoxo 

loser M

knock knock who's there ?

YEAYYYY ME ! K iamsolameiknowshutupgetlost :P #jk peace boys and girls

so today is Sunday and last night was 21st Ramadhan , some said that last night was ' Malam Lailatul Qadar ' and when i heard about that my heart stops beating cause i'll never know when can i meet Ramadhan again :'( who knows right maybe i wont be here writing to my bloggie again . my mind starts thinking what if i cant meet Ramadhan next year and all the thoughts just wont stop coming like a fountain or something . see thats why i hate my brain sometimes they cant think clearly and all the negative thoughts starts to whisper like when you wanna do something bad and it drives you crazy . so lets just think positive about it .

my newly newly newly azam for this Ramadhan and next year which i'm gonna take SPM ? what theeee ? #Klame its too early isnt it . here it goes :- fyi dont read it cause you might get sick :P haha

1. i want to respect the people who respect me first and forget about those who forget me :') sorry peeps if you wannabe in someone's life you just have to put a lot of effort in it so that there's a place guaranteed fr you in their heart same goes to me tadaaaa dooms . #anywho dont break the trust the people had give in to you cause if you did just shoot yourself in the head . K-idding dont do that please just change yourself to the better , people will like that *swear to God .

2. i want to treat people the same way i want to be treated like #humanity . i wanna love my family even more even sometimes i feel neglected , hurt , torn apart , leftover , blahblahblah and that kind of stuffs which is sensitive for me to write *i might be crying like a child LOL grow up M you're so not a baby but okay lah a sweet salty smelly baby yang dah besar and she's gonna be sixteeen haha . i wanna grow my love even more to my PELAMOVE my babiesss awhhh , my classmates you guys awsomely rock , my friends yang superly duperly makes me smile . yes i wanna do that i wanna love my peeps oh yeahhh #loveisintheair .

3. last but not least , i want to do some self-reflection to myself . K sometimes i have the lazy feeling to study , get over moody or upset people if they see me HAHA things like this have to absolutely change FULLSTOP . anyway hope to see the better me insyaAllah , more to the Islamic way rather than the all duniawi stuffs aminnnn :) praying hard to kejar the malam lailatul qadar malam *1000 bulan which i have calculated using a calculator haha , equals to 83 tahun beribadah . i aint know when or how long i get to live in this world so i am trying my best effort to meet this LailatulQadar aminyarabbalamin . may Allah bless me and to all the muslims throughout the world :')

pray hard for me in you du'a please :') Allah will repay your kindness towards me and and we'll be siblings eventho you dont know me or you hate me badly *ouchhh it hurts :P but muslims are somehow related right so do pray cause Allah will always be there when the rest of the world ignores you . Alhamdulillah and i am glad to say that I am a Muslim which may not be a perfect one but trying to be one .

words of wisdom :

there are many ways to die but there is only one way to live 

and that is the way i wanna live my life to the fullest . aint no shit gonna come in my way HAHA ksorry #disgusting . have a nice day Happy Fasting and maybe some of you still searching for baju raya or waiting for your tailor to do it like me sheeshh patience please . good luck and hoping that you'll be sangat anggun cun bergaya dan VOGUE di pagi raya :') teehee peace be upon you


 

 

okay fine sumpah aku tipu kalau aku tak terasa apa yang kau dah buat eventho you didnt mean to but you have the intention to do so am i right ? you know the real story and now you're looking at me AS IF there's nothing wrong . oh fyi i can not forget eventho i tried real hard cause you're my friend or should i say classmate -.- K at least i can pretend i dont care AT ALL . 

congrats and i am happy fr you .

 

btw :- you'll never know how much it breaks 

and torns me apart inside .

sincerely ,

M hearts .

 

HAHAHAHA cant stop laughing , you should see harry's facial expression . loveyou and thanks JK ROWLING fr establishing these kind of books . i grew up within the years with this movie since standard 1 till i'm on-my-way to sixteen :) yeayyyy me.  and i guarantee you I BELIEVE in HOGWARTS and ILOVEYOUHARRYPOTTER forever #diehardfan :') i grew up learning english with these kind of movies so thanks to you i'm doing just fine i think ? LOL kbai got tusyen today and why do i feel like shopping today ? causeee yeah me wanna spend money badly haha #superawsome . Ya Allah save my money from my evil hand cause you know i'm bad in handling lots of money :/ 

take care bloggie , mommy loves you :*

 

have a good day earthlings :)

#muahkanankiriatasbawahdepanbelakang limited fr girls ONLY 

xoxo , 

the OHSEM M

Dear heartbreaker ,

I still remember the last day , the last text . I remember all the tears , I remember feeling worthless , I remember waiting by my phone for a text that never came . I remember the lack of explanation , I remember being shoved away like I never meant anything to you at all . I remember feeling used and broken and like nobody understood . I remember wondering how you could know everything about me, how I could give you every single piece of me and still not be enough for you . I remember each thing that made me smile, and each thing that made me cry. I remember how i think about you and caught myself smiling . I remember believing in you with all my heart that it would happen, expecting forever, and having my forever cut short . I remember drifting away from you , and drifting back to this relationship we like to call a friendship . But you and me , we can never be friends. There’s always been something more in the way we look at each other , and you know it . So here I am , looking at you, feeling all the emotions I’ve always felt when I look at you . I hate the fact that I like you badly that I cant remember all those things you've done to me .

sincerely M-self

 

i keep looking and waiting for the same person all over again and i hate it really :'( i dont know why people called it heartbreak cause it feels like every part of my body is broken too . btw :- IHATEYOUBADLY #itsalie cause you know i always crawl back to you but not this time  IHADENOUGH . thankyou and sorry for wasting your time to such a girl like me #an ordinary one 

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

we fight and we hurt. we cry and we live. we learn and we try

xoxo Mariam Ibrahim :')

 

 

it is currently 3.00 a.m. yoo and i am still not sleeping yoo cause i dont feel like i want to yoo . any reasons why i wrote the last post before this one? 

times up . tetttttttt no answers i have my own life which is i'm not gonna tell you my secret will R.I.P with me till the day i die . FYI my life is not a bed of roses full of sweet smells and stuff partly and obviously life has ups and downs some are full of despairs and sadness sometimes wa kena jugak sentimental kan bro ? ye dakk ? nnt org ckp wa takde hati dan perasaan pulak --' budak nii selamba badak gituh slomo jeh hidup dia . tak ke boring wa hidup mcm tuh so chill lah kan like everybody would say to me . here's some of the quotes :-

• lek ahh mariam , biasa ah tuh hidup tak kan nak happy always no fun ahh babe
• chill baby chill , nama pun life saborr jelahh ye dak ?
• yang baik sikit cakap mcm nii -----> tak payah fikir sgt psl dunia nii baik fikir dh cukup ke tak bekalan nak bawak ke akhirat esok .
• yang jahat and annoyinggila cakap mcm nii pulak -------> padan muka kau mariam , sesuai sgt ah tu hidup kau mcm tuh . serves you right :>P dalam hati berpasupasu bunga kembang , muka bajet cool tahan botox kat pipi nak senyum . i greatly respect people like this :') 

haaa as you can see , there's lots of people macam macam attitude and ragam revolves around you . as the time flies you can see how many of your friends stick to you right by your side through thick and thin rough or smooth and clearly the ones who left are not worth it . cherish the people who stays cause they are more valuable than money :* i know when the silent readers or #stalkers upsss sorry read this maybe some questions crossed your mind . hmmph lemme think maybe this kind of ques :-
 " yak alamakkk minah nii apesal lahh selalu sgt nak emo emo kat blog dia "

 answers aku pulak :-

1. sukahati wa lah kan wa nak tulis apa dalam bloggie wa , perhhh *ayatkasar semacam uppsiee :P its my life kan i am not asking you to pay when you read this. tanak sudah boleh belah you can GOOH which stands fr 'get out of here' immediately you desperado-rico-porqero-abuqueque puihh .
2. wa emo emo pun yg most of the time tuh , Ehh hello bro take note - not all the time K . get a life
3. i am not born perfectly happy , masa baby pun aku selalu nangis so waddup ? wa punya psl lah kan .

kindly sorry for the uppsie upssie part, okiedokienotapayakicookieforyou . friends iloveyou  :* haters ? i am matured enough not to care and still love you even IF you spread bad rumors about me which makes me happy cause you cared so much didnt cha ? kehkehkeh :P yg talk nicely and lovely behind me God knows how to repay your love towards me <3

 

all i ever wanted was to be treated equally . to be in someone's mind . to be your best buddy or someone you can count on like 123 and not being neglected nor alone in my own world . see through me not what you see in front of me . accept me for me please . i wanna have the life that i could impossibly replace it with money or fame i want bestfriends , friends and family like everyone else does . i wanna wake up the next morning knowing that i have a good life and nothing can stop me from being happy . i seriously am feeling kinda suck right now . fuuuu** me . knowing that you would never be the best and abandoned that feeling absolutely seriously certainly and most importantly SUCKS A LOT , imagine that you yourself falls off from a cliff andddd the best part is NO ONE CARES

a big round of applause for faking to like me eventho deep down i know you're not cause you are too perfect :') thanks for the love you showed in front me .

much love , 

sincerely M 

the Awkward moment is when your phone is next to your father's seat and at the exact time the person you missed the most calls you :) right in the middle of the night , come home soon I wanna see you badly okay #gedikmuch lalala so so what I'm still a rockstar :D goodnight peeps nd enjoy your Friday (Y) peace be upon you :*

 

guess what i didnt finish my hw yet :D yeayy me so cool . i am so double triple extra mapple lazyyy nak buat #mariampemalas :P so yeahh maybe i'm gonna do it later tonight or the next day or the next day and till the day comes :) teehee . enjoy your day earthlings and erhhhh --' tomorrow there's school right . L.A.Z.Y againnn and againn to go . God help me pleaseee :/

When I hang with a boy doesn’t mean he is my boyfriend .

Highschool is hard, and I’m trying my best .

.
I’m a teenager, I don’t always have the best attitude . 

I try to make the best decisions for me eventhough it breaks my heart .

I’m young and want to have fun like any other teens .

If I'm watching televisions all day long means i just wanna rest . 

If I fail doesnt mean that I'm not good enough .

selamat berbuka for all the muslims :) may Allah bless you everyday in Ramadhan . gonna eat eat eat and terawih tonight :) toodles poodles peace be upon you muahhh :*

xoxo , 

THE OHSEM M :)

HELLOOO WORLD peace be upon you :) hope you guys has been enjoying your great day and the first day of Ramadhan isnt it great hihi . okay seems like i'm soooo and way back ahead ketinggalan zaman . it has been months since i wrote to bloggie and i miss you so much baby muahh sikit :* i dont have much time to online or did i ? ade kot masa BUT i am too lazy hee you know me dont cha #mariambudakpemalas :) so many things i wanna write but since i've been to kursus mc , got sick , headache , flu , cough , and many other obstacles last but not least camp JSLC fr 3 days since friday and i missed my BEST FRIEND SWEET SIXTEEN BIRTHDAY :/ sobsad sobsad honestly to my girlfriend #fatinkamilamohdrashid a.k.a atentonten :-

hey i know i've been a pain in the ass and GEDIKGILA with you HAHA i just want you to know that everything i do wasnt meant to hurt you or any PELAMOVE , * iloveyougirlsforevertilldeathtearusapart . sorry for not being there when i know its the bestday of your life of course lah kan since its ' THE DAY ' you're born on 31st of July wohoo . pinkypromise we are going to celebrate it havoc-ly and awsome-ly after fasting insyaAllah (:


JSLC camp which is johor student leader council was full of surprises and funfunfun like seriously no kidding , the seniors were cool and Madam was just like a mother to us . hoping to be in the next programme of 60 selected peeps dont wanna get my hopes too high since i wasnt bright enuff there . have you ever feel like everybody's wayyy ahead of you and you're like standing there ALONE and AFRAID and SO SHY to speak up . its all about volunteer-ing and  i want to but i cant put put put put my hands up donno why maybe a part of me is little bit insecure and unsure thats what people call it #no-self-confidence :/ i wanna change for good and no more playing games its time for me to grow like an adult . can you imagine when you're SIXTEEN i repeat sixteen and in one night you and your group can collect RM50,000 in charity dinner, press conference,speak to the embassy of another country and blablabla . #EYES ROLLING and JAWS DROPPING kankan gilalahhhhh . so thats it GOTTA CHANGE and start from zero to HERO . go mariam go mariam dont break my heart mariam umppsss ahh oh yeah umpsss ahh oh yeah GOOO mariamibrahim :) i learn that dekat camp HA-HA . so peeps until then i'll write again if ada masa terluang :P boboiBOY take care and jangan nak mengada tak puasa eh for guys. be patient tahan nafsu anda and dont waste your food cause i know bazaar is just so tempting right :D assalamualaikum dan selamat sejahtera 

xoxo ,

the M rock :)