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I was never normal . I am always the weirdest one . Yet I accept the fact that I too have flaws . So now what I'm gonna do is sit there and think . Who am I to judge you and the way you act . The time begins now and whatever happens next I have my own reason . I'm not blaming anyone I'm just being me and I mean it this time there's no turning back , I'm sorry thats all .

xoxo ,

M

Assalamualaikum . Its me writing again . Just got back from Kualalala Lumpur . Bored . Nothing much happened. I ate a lot sumpah hari hari chicken HAHA imagine mcm mana tak gemuk right haihhh . Anyway we send Eka to her practical place in Klang - checked . Hantar farouq - checked . Jumpa Mak Noi - checked . Hang around with my parents - double checked . See how I much I missed my besties :'( I'm stuck in the car for 5 hours with cramped legs and pain in the ass haha I mean I got headache as always . Nevermind its temporary inshaAllah Allah will be there always. I signed in to facebook just now and I saw this , it touched my heart . Wanna see how much it impact me ------> read this . To my beloved best friends , classmates , girlfriends and schoolmates .

Dengan nama Allah Yg Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang

Ya Allah , Panjangkanlah umur sahabatku. Kurniakanlah kesihatan yang baik padanya , terangi hatinya dengan nur pancaran iman. Tetapkanlah hatinya , perluaskanlah rezekinya , dekatkanlah hatinya kepada kebaikan , jauhkanlah hatinya pada kejahatan, tunaikanlah hajatnya baik hajat dalam agama , dunia dan akhirat .

Ya Muhaimin , Jika dia jatuh hati izinkanlah dia menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut pada-Mu agar tidak terjatuh dia dalam jurang cinta nafsu  , Jagalah hatinya agar tidak berpaling daripada melabuhkan hatinya pada hati-Mu. Jika dia rindu , rindukanlah dia pada seseorang yang merindui syahid di jalan-Mu.

Ya Allah , Jangan biarkan sahabatku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kejalan-Mu , jika kau halalkan aku merindui sahabatku , janganlah aku melampaui batas sehingga melupakan daku pada cinta hakiki , rindu abadi dan kasih sejati hanya untuk-Mu.

Ya Allah , kurniakanlah sahabatku kesenangan , ketenangan , kecemerlangan dan hidayah dari-Mu dalam menempuh cabaran serta liku-liku hidup di dunia dan di akhirat kelak .  inshaAllah 

I know I didnt wrote this du'a but I pray for them in my own ways for sure . I want the best for you guys as much as I loved them . And ustazah did say something to me , tak kan nak masuk syurga sorang sorang kan bagus kalau ada kawan . Plus a friend du'a is among the best and will be granted inshaAllah God knows . I hope this year 2012 will bring us peace and prosperity . When I said I'll be there I keep my promise so I'll stay beside them whenever they want me to and I'll go if they ask me to . I'm sorry if I ever hurt anyone , any heart feelings , words unspoken , hatred , jealousy , my attitude and my flaws definitely . I'm sorry for being me and I cant blame anyone . Never in my heart to hurt the people around me, I tried my very best till now to please everyone to make them feel comfortable to make sure they're happy and I hope you guys are . So there it goes , please accept my apology if you ever come across reading this by accident . 

Goodnight universe may Allah bless you . Alhamdulillah :')

Much love , M

I miss them so much :/ No words could describe how we loved each other #cehh but its nothing but the truth :') I missed how we used to laugh over something we did accidentally . I missed the way we made bad jokes to each other . I missed the way we gathered all around us , taking care for each other , cooking together in the kitchen , fighting over PS2 game or watching tv , playing badminton and family match , the way we walked to Pasar Malam and it's amazing to know that I have them all this while - La Familia . Even though many things happened these past few years yet we still here standing strong , all for one and one for all inshaAllah even Abang Farhan and Tokmak is not here with us - they will always be remembered in our hearts and prayers . Ya Allah please give us your blessings and keep us all together as a family till Jannah , I would never want to replace any of them with anyone in this world , I love you guyssss  <3

Introducing the Abu Bakar's and Halijah's family - not yet a complete family cause Acu is missing in action :P

xoxo ,

M with family

Alhamdulillah time passed by too quick , yet so far everything is turning out pretty well :') My relationship with Allah family and friends so far still in a good position . I'm not isolating myself from people and definitely it turns out not that bad I think . Among everything 2012 is the best year for now and I hope it stays the same throughout the year so that I'll be able to write about it at the end and a new beginning in 2013 inshaAllah . 

I've accepted my imperfections , reconstructing myself over again , use my weakness against me and now I'm proud to say I'm not the girl who I thought I was years ago . Everytime I fall and things just happened the way it wasnt supposed to be I'll hear my own heartbeat - I have a purpose in life . Eventhough I dont know which road I'm gonna take I'm sure everything will turn out well , things just work out somehow they have to . I'm not gonna run away anymore from any problem , I'll face whatever it is with open arms . 

Thankyou Allah for making me believe in myself once again though I've been lost within myself yet you still there to guide me . Dad and Mom you both were meant to be together and you guys are the best thing ever happen to me despite all my shit-ness you're my backbone through it all :') Bestfriends girlfriends and schoolmates you'll always be remembered , no one can take you guys place each and every one of you . Knowing my annoying-ness gedik-ness and overdose drama Queen above all that thanks for treating me in public like I'm a normal one \m/ Fyi I'm crazy and I know it :P 

This one is specially dedicated to secretcode - Puding , Thankyou to beyond and infinity to stand and not feeling embarass for whatever I'm doing and to accept my flaws for who I am . Whatever will be in the future let Allah decides whats best for us or everyone and in the mean time stay awsome :) I'm proud to say life is starting to get better each day Alhamdulillah , may Allah bless us toodles . 

xoxo , 

M now and forever